This thread has made for quite an long, interesting read!
As an instructor/trainer you put hours upon hours of work into students, you see first hand the results your experience, time, dedication and guidence can bring.
It must be very frustrating when you feel as though you have been given a low blow.
However, Dan after eading this thread i feel you may be a little dizzy as the circles your going in are never ending! :)
You are not getting direct answers to your questions, it seems as though you will never actually establish what was said/done to cause all this upset and aggrivation.
Maybe it's time to move on and accept that not everything works out the way we want. As this amount of time and effort being put into something which i doubt anyone will hold their hand up and admit, yeah i got it wrong, must be very draining on yourself, mary and soumia.
Good luck in getting the answers you want.