The human ego is designed for judgment. Every moment is filled with judgment.

The word can be used many ways. One could say any decision is a judgment. I am using it in terms of judging self and others and our actions or other.

I am not suggesting it is bad I am suggesting to judge someone else causes self stress and pain as well as projects stress and shame.

Weighing options and making a decision doesn't have to come from judging it as right or wrong (which we are programmed with and is ego nature. It can come from discernment.

The thought that someone shouldn't do something (if they are doing) causes stress.
Just the same as wishing a wall wasn't there, thinking it shouldn't be. "When you fight with reality you loose...but only all the time." -Byron Katie

If the thought isn't there its funny how it doesn't bother you...

Anytime you project your value system onto someone else you are putting them in a cage and an animal in a cage is not an animal. Humans are animals and anytime you try to control another human you are making them less human.

A woman took her son to Gandhi and asked Gandhi to tell him to stop eating sugar. He said to come back in two weeks. She came back two weeks later with her son and Gandhi told him to stop eating sugar. When she asked him why two weeks he said that two weeks ago he was eating sugar.

In my experience, if I notice I am judging (I judge lots) and IF! I look deep inside, I can always find what I am judging in someone else in me. I don't always look and sometimes its hard looking, but if I do look I can always find it.

I find that it is the judgments I have of self that I project onto others. A way of deflecting the shame I hold about self.

I believe that the human ego is addicted to shame and fear so if nothing else there is an addiction (for my belief system). However, I have yet to meet someone that doesn't have addictions. (I am open to the possibility some don't - it just has not been my experience that that is true)

Scientifically, we are addicted to our feelings and emotions (Candace Pert PhD work shows this "molecules Of Emotion")

I believe all external conflict is a reflection of internal conflict.

I also believe that we can change no one by direct action (trying to do so is caging IMO&E). I do believe we can change self and that when we do we project that to others and people around us change.

Look ast it in terms of a relationship. Think and or say that your partner should be different than they are and see what kind of pain it causes. We are human and we simply do that. But experience has shown me that it always causes pain...on both sides. Ego love is conditional... unconditional love, maybe not quite attainable as a human, has no judgment - no conditions. It is pure acceptance as is.

I believe one of our greatest human desires is to be loved and accepted simply for being. Not for doing according to someone else's value system. One of the big reasons for wars is the judgment that someone else's religion of value system is wrong and ours is right. Christians (of course not all -looking at countries) say God is Love and God says "thou shalt not kill" and go out and kill to try to make people adopt their beliefs. I am curious what would happen if we smiply lived it instead of trying to force it on others.

Lying is based in fear and shame. we lie usually because we are either afraid of what someone will think of us or are afraid of hurting someones feelings. Going with the former... If we don't feel we will be judged, we have less fear and less of a need to lie. When we don't judge someone (as much) they feel less of a need to lie to us. It isn't relevant if lying is right or wrong in terms of what happens.

I also know that when I judge thats someone shouldn't lie to me and I look inside I find that I lie. And when i let go of the judgment of me lying I judge others less about them lying and people lie to me less and I have lie less.

I am not suggesting that you shouldn't think lying is wrong. I am suggesting that as the judgment lessens lying on both sides lessens. At least this is my experience.

A child is told to tell the truth. Often when they do tell the truth they get into trouble. That is painful. We only lie to protect self from pain and judgment. When someone feels free to speak their truth they have less fear which causes the lie.

Right or wrong doesn't come into it for how the process works. I am not suggesting lying is right or wrong. That is everyones else value system. I am suggesting, from my experience, that we lie less when you take away the judgment.

It is very painful to be lied to WHEN we believe someone shouldn't lie to us. When we take away that belief it is no longer painful (and happens less)

I am not talking right or wrong. I am talking peace and pain, joy and stress.

Find me someone who says it is wrong to lie and I will show you someone that lies.

I believe that the pain we experience from judging others is wonderful. It leads us (if we look) to the judgments we have of self. The judgment that someone else should live up to our value system (mostly placed on the clean slate of our minds by our parents before 6/7) which we cannot live up to.