*I guess you get a "feel" from doing as the motor programs and familiarity etc takes hold.

That feel, I think, comes so much faster when teaching to "feel" wtf is going on comes over teaching 1,2 kick, or go go go*

I'd agree with that.
Just to speculate - say for example, for someone who is finding it difficult to get a feel for something - cause you know it just seems to come easier for some than others - it is more necessary to have a more conscious understanding of what exactly it is they're trying to get a feel for.
i.e. a conscious understanding of the specifics of the technique itself.

This way they can "steer" themselves as such, on a path that is more productive.

At the same time, I do agree - whatever the case - whether the "feel" comes with greater or lesser conscious understanding, it is more beneficial to adopt a slower more composed and cerebral approach during the learning phase so the motor programs are set correctly?

For the instinctual kick boxer dude, perhaps it was a case for him where the feel came more naturally, the necessity for the conscious understanding was not as great and therefore his ability to relay the detail of the technique to others was not present so much, due to the fact that the techniques were absorbed in such a way that the conscious understanding of the detail was not necessary.
I think I've said the same thing twice in that sentence.

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For those in the middle - who can get a feel to a certain extent, but not develop 100% correctly the technique by this means alone, a degree of conscious understanding would/could improve what they have developed already. - through body awareness.

Curiously - IMO - what you can see alot is, when someone has enough to get by, as such - i.e. say they have a good punch, but not perfect - they tend not to be motivated to set aside the effort to gain that conscious understanding that may help to make it the perfect punch.

As oppose to someone who can't throw the punch at all - they tend to work at it and develop the understanding thoroughly until they have the perfect technique.
Hmmm - well maybe that's not entirely true - perhaps it's more to do with their personal satisfaction at the quality of what they hope to achieve - anyway, not to go off on a tangent to much.

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The case with the woman described above; my understanding of what happened there was she was programmed involuntarily, possibly due to the "intensity"?, of the situation when she was younger.

I.e. programmed - or to relate it to something physical - her motor functions were forced to develop a certain technique, not through her own choosing, and this caused her to react in a certain way.
Now to relate to the situation as described - that reaction being, she would find attractive immediately the type of person she was programmed to be familiar with - again, programmed due to the "intensity" of her previous experience with that type of person. But that's just a theory.

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*Inability to get a feel I think is mostly lack of body awareness.*

That would make sense.
And in turn, perhaps what is necessary to get that feel for someone lacking in body awareness, is to develop a conscious awareness - as oppose to the subconscious/body awareness, (maybe some people are just born or genetically coded to be more inclined the way of the latter?) - and develop the "feel" or develop the program of the movement, in this way.. ?