Unless body awareness and learning relaxed to start it can be tough to change motorprograms and mental conditioning that keeps one tight in my opinion. That said of course anyone can -

In the ideal world I would back off on training to a pace and power level that you can stay relaxed in - even if you have to go to only shadow and controlled back work - if you can relax on pads or sparring great (these are a little harder) Back off to a degree you can be relaxed and pick it back up only when you can stay relaxed at the intensity and level you're at...

I find humming can help a lot - I actually hum without trying especially when sparring hard (I didn't even realize till it was brought to my attention.

TRYING HARD = lots of effort and tension - "a good effort" and giving 110% etc generally creates stress and tension in my experience - Not about trying its about DOING!

Let go of right and wrong
A baby learns to stand but when learning to walk falls. It, in my opinion and experience, is a huge mistake to think of the fall as bad in anyway. (the child will interpret falls from the parents reactions etc)...

In falling the child learns how to fall (catch self) which is huge - it seems we are all about not falling - but learning to fall creates a comfort level and teaches the child how to fall safely - this gives them more confidence to challenge themselves more cause falling is not that big a deal anyone.

The child also learns about getting back up again and doing it again and I think anyone can see clear benefits from that.

Also the trip, or balance that happened to create the fall is learned and corrections are made and the child learns to walk.

The way we are raised generally and the way our school systems are is all about right and wrong and A's and F's and 'falling' in training is subconsciously ingrained to a huge degree (regardless of coach) as being bad - but it is in the falling that we grow so much.

So I think this applies to the stress of getting it right in training and the tension that follows.

Another aspect I feel is the ego (all have) needs of validation which many athletes and fighters project into fighting/performing etc the stress, subconscious or otherwise is DOing good enough to be worth something - It is my understanding that humans seek validation from the father (inspiration from the mother) and therefor it is the fathers job to validate the child - everyone I have ever met (regardless of intention) seems to get more validation from DOing than from BEing. Praised for A's and punished for F's - praised for walking, praised for doing what mommy and daddy want from you (not saying praise isn't good - just think more energy and emotion should be put on praise for existing that for doing according to what others want from you...

The fathers job is then to pass on how to validate self to the child - another thing I have seen very very few examples of (everything inn degrees of course) - so the mother and father parts of the adult ego tend to learn to judge and praise the self how we were praised and punished -

Now the 'feelings' that come with praise (validation) are confused by the child with love (love being something we are hard wired to experience) - you FEEL loved when getting spanked or sent to room or yelled at??? Fuck no - the child FEELS loved when getting happy emotions from praise (also learns that it needs to take care of the emotional welling of parents ("I'm not happy with you and I'll punish you" "You make me happy with how good you do"

Remember this is not if parents love not - this is the child experience and there for the childs reality...

So we grow up with the stress of having to perform to be good enough and worthy and loved and I think that comes through BIG in performing, sports and certainly combat sports...

So going into the gym with the attitude of it is ok to fall and you are where you're at and there is no wrong only learning and growing. Bring on the character of a fighter or the archetype of a warrior and create the fighter role as you want it and then just do that - let go of who you think you are in the gym and be what you want - let go of all the bull shit having to get it right and trying hard and just fucking do!

You get hit - yes!, you fall, YES! as long as you learn from it and it will propel you in the direction you want to go.

I sat back and observed my daughter learning to walk and swim etc
I took the approach of she is her own teacher and as long as no serious injury was likely she was on her own or could ask for help... She learned to fall and she is way more agile and confident on her feet than most kids her age... With swimming - we taught her nothing and she literally swims under water - started before 2) I did not praise her for her natural development - it is not a huge deal to learn to walk - its normal - I encouraged sometimes and did praise a little but very low energy relative to the praise I give her for just being there - for living and she is DOing herself

she is her own teacher and she is learning cause and effect - what happens when she falls, why and how to deal with and how to get up - if I didn't let her fall or "oh are you ok!!! let MR (ego needs to be needed) take care of you" - that pulls awareness of herself and the experience and forces her to focus on parent and off herself

its long and complicated and thats parts of the big pic but maybe a few of you will get something out of it agree or not :)