How fights start.



My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
the channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her some scales.

And then the fight started...

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive....

so, I took her to a petrol station...

And then the fight started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend...
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and
I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know
how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem
funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

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THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing golf '

Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When
I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,
you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which
one person is always right, and the other
is the husband.

"better still............Dont Get Married" !!!!!!!!!!