comedy genius / fav comedians part II


Do you Like Jimmy carr?



heres his--- :

These are sooo Jimmy Carr one-liners :))


My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning.....can you believe that?..... 2:30am! Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.""f*ck that" says Mick" have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest p*nis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg"

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid........then I was petrified.


I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said I would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

Jimmy Carr is hilarious. Used to think he was a twat, but he kinda grows on you. Favourite comedian is Dara O'Briain. Intelligent, and hilarious.

Also;

Jim Davidson
Billy Connolly
Jim Jeffries
Ed Byrne
Brendon Burns
Peter Kay
Russell Brand
Russell Howard
Al Murray
Kevin Bridges

Fecking loads.........love stand-up comedy.

Saw Jimmy Carr at King Georges Hall / Blackburn last November. Most of the jokes you've put above were on it, Sandy.
He was absolutely brilliant though, and was on for about 3hrs with a short 10 min break.

I tend to like the intelligent humourists like Dara,Paul Merton,Hislop,Ed Byrne.

good posts you 2 cheers ! and met Al Murray in Manc last year top bloke

Dave Chappelle

Cleese and Palin

Morecambe and Wise

Bob Monkhouse

yes them too good call... but soz whose dave chappele?


and anyone remeber a great comedian who had 1 finger missing and was on late at night and was always close to the knuckle but v funny and always smoked through his show, he was called Dave ???

Dave Allen?

God, how could I have forgotten Dave Allen ??!! Top comic. Wasn't as keen on his comic sketches, but his stand up (or sat down in his case), was brilliant.

Dave Chapelle is like a rude version of Chris Rock , who is also a hilarious guy

jason bryne

raymond bennet yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Nice 1 one Dave Allen, and yep always had a whisky/ as well as a fag as he told his wry dry stories / jokes
any footage of him?

and keep the Clips coming of your favs thanks happy days :-)

julien clairy was funny

Favourite character is Alan Partridge, favourite stand up/comedian is Sean Lock.

Lenny Bruce was awesome considering his era as well.

I always remember Friday and Saturday Night Live, hosted by Ben Elton. Some proper stars came from there such as the aformentioned Julian Clary and Harry Enfield.

http://www.youtube.com/user/OLDMANBADGER#p/f/117/5ZRflz-93JA

this is Dave Chappelle Sandy

thanku sir

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Biatch!'

Louis CK is my favourite he says the most outrageous things. Some of his stand ups are on youtube