off TOPIC A/X New Bar OPEN........

ARIES


Drinking style
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to
call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to
closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get
mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a
good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail.
Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that
whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise.
They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't
gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky
Gemini.


Trademark cocktails
Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy food
and red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat
tomatoes, onions, olives and greens. That's right, Aries, you were born
under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and
they've been known to kick back a salty dog and a sea breeze or two. For
extreme hotcha, try a concoction with cinnamon liqueur in it.


Drinking buddies
Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al Gore,
Thomas Jefferson, Elton John, Eric McCormack, Rosie O'Donnell, Sarah
Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon






TAURUS


Drinking style
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow
rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who
spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the
preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and
barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that
the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will
get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is
extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.


Trademark cocktails
Early-to-bed Taureans need a picker-upper -- try a Red Bull and vodka.
They also have a leviathan sweet tooth and are fond of drinks with names
that sound like dessert (50-50 bar, mudslide). Sweetly caffeinated
drinks, like Irish coffee or white Russians, are ideal. More macho
Taureans will go for something unpretentious, like a Jack and Coke or
whiskey sour.


Drinking buddies
Cate Blanchett, Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, Cher, Penelope Cruz, William
Randolph Hearst, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Striesand, Uma Thurman, Renee
Zellweger






GEMINI


Drinking style
Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much -- they're so
naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell
sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion,
then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of
intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic
ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very


tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different
cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme
(like yellow
drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.


Trademark cocktails
Easily bored Geminis need some stimulation in their drinks -- those with
two parts, like a black and tan (or just a double), are particularly
appealing. Otherwise, they'll drink all over the map, ordering frou-frou
drinks to add to their collection of cocktail monkeys or going for
whiskey rocks because they're feeling rather noir. Gemini rules the herb
anise -- make some home-infused anise vodka as a gift.


Drinking buddies
George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett, Boy George, Allen
Ginsberg, Angelina Jolie, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie Minogue,
Morrissey






CANCER


Drinking style
Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an
after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer
darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard
against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties
and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style,
Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional"


(read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping
stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your
favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. Keep in mind
once started, a Cancer never stops... drinking.


Trademark cocktails
Ruled by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine - any
booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey and soda to grandpappy's
special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like comfortingly warm
and sweet drinks, like hot toddies and hot buttered rums. The sign also
rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla
vodka and soda. Though a six-pack of bud will do.


Drinking buddies
Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford,
Sean Hayes, Lil' Kim, George Michael, Princess Diana, Prince William






LEO


Drinking style
Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and
usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity
and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling --
Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably
because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed,
expect flirting to ensue - and perhaps not with the one what brung them.
But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to
ignore it (try harder,
Cancer) and expect a sheepish Lion to make it up to you the next day.


Trademark cocktails
Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions
festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common
strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, they often have a taste for the
fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next
Manhattan. Their sense of drama lends itself to a kir royale, of course.


Drinking buddies
Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, Jennifer
Lopez, Madonna, Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha Stewart, Andy Warhol







VIRGO


Drinking style
Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their
famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other
signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking
down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully
shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the
intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let
it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As
one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low
level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!


Trademark cocktails
Many Virgos prefer clear, simple, untreacly drinks like vodka tonic or a
real margarita, though you'll find 'em drinking anything - from
unflinchingly downing Cuervo straight to smirkingly ordering a dirty
virgin. They also tend to like bitter, low-alk guzzles like Campari and
soda. They rarely change their drink once they've found it, however.


Drinking buddies
Cameron Diaz, Hugh Grant, Christopher Isherwood, Michael Jackson,
Freddie Mercury, Carrie-Anne Moss, Dorothy Parker, Ryan Philippe, Keanu
Reeves, Lily Tomlin






LIBRA


Drinking style
"I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn
social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to
everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend
device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little
instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as
they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which
can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly
boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's
beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!


Trademark cocktails
Aesthetic Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a Brandy
Alexander. That's the influence of Venus, their ruling planet, which
also gives them a horror of crudely named potions like Sex on the Beach.
They're fine with "normal" guzzles like apple martinis, but every Libra
secretly just wants Champagne, and lots of it.


Drinking buddies
Jimmy Carter, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco, Janeane Garofalo, Hugh
Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde,
Catherine Zeta-Jones






SCORPIO


Drinking style
Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you
and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering
drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if
you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to
savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if
depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally,
they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and
dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you
did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.


Trademark cocktails
Just as a Scorpio can look you in the eye and smile while secretly
plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger's sweet taste
hide a potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal, serve them
a scorpion - they may not love tropical drinks, but it shows you're
paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon, so break out the blender and
fix a pitcher of watermelon margaritas to seduce 'em -- though red wine
will do the trick just as well.


Drinking buddies
Truman Capote, Hillary Clinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster, Bill
Gates, k.d. lang, Megan Mullally, Demi Moore, Sylvia Plath, RuPaul






SAGITTARIUS


Drinking Style
In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When
buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.
Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is
a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of
Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're
the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire
crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or
Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high
possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty
call).


Trademark cocktails
A travel-loving sign, Sagittarius might be intrigued by drinks like
Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long Island iced tea
(not a bad option, given how much Sag can put away and still stay
vertical). Party monsters that they are, they're attracted to shots,
like the ever-popular lemon drop. Sag rules pears, and could use a nice
pear cider right about now, come to think of it.


Drinking buddies
The Bush twins, Margaret Cho, Noel Coward, Betty Ford, Lucy Liu, Brad
Pitt, Keith Richards, Frank Sinatra, Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears





CAPRICORN


Drinking style
Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and
status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological
cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie
Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star:
independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to
please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble?
But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off,
and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy
the after party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.


Trademark cocktails
Old-fashioned Cap would probably like an old-fashioned just fine -- or a
dry martini, or a gin and tonic, or a gimlet -- or any like alcohol and
generally hate drinks with more than three ingredients. However, they
like the flavor of cranberry and will order a cosmo if they can handle
the wait for it to get mixed.


Drinking buddies
Orlando Bloom, David Bowie, James Dean, Marlene Dietrich, Martin Luther
King Jr, Jude Law, Annie Lennox, Marilyn Manson, Richard Nixon, Elvis
Presley






AQUARIUS


Drinking style
Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water,
that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if
they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a
stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however,
they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they
make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're
usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated
drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):
Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding
interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.


Trademark cocktails
Aquarius is likely to order stuff most people have never heard of: a
capirinha, Satan's whiskers, a negroni, an Arthur Tompkins. They like to
stump the bartender. This sign rules the color electric blue and would
be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao. They also rule the
olive tree, so pour the juice into that dirty martini.


Drinking buddies
Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Dre, Matt Groening, Ashton
Kutcher, Ronald Reagan, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, Oprah
Winfrey, Elijah Wood






PISCES


Drinking style
If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign
-- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and
Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy,
out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty
tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other
hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or
in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of
margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive
personality" can be read two ways, you know.


Trademark Cocktails
Pisces rules fresh mint, and they do love a mojito or three -- though a
julep will do just as well. They also like punches, like sangria or the
oh-so-aptly named fish house punch. (Pretty much anything will satisfy a
Pisces in a pinch, though -- "drinking like a fish" is an idiom pulled
out of the zodiac, not the deep blue sea.) Pisces is a chocoholic and
loves creme de cacao (and spiked cocoa).


Drinking buddies
Drew Barrymore, Chastity Bono, Chelsea Clinton, Kurt Cobain, Edward
Gorey, Queen Latifah, Liza Minelli, Anais Nin, Sharon Stone, Liz Taylor

CLOSE THIS UNLICENCED DRINKING HOLE DOWN

THE NEWLY REFURBISHED AX BAR WILL BE OFFICIALLY OPENED TO THE PUBLIC IN A FEW WEEKS.

PS ARIES

Are you hiring bouncers this time????
As that last bar got abit roudy at times.
Expecially you sandy after you hade a few to many.
lol

cheers:)

Nice one Tommy, Rock On

I go with the Gemini. If you promise that Stefan Leko and Rob Kaman (notorious Geminis) will join the party I will even do the sacrifice to keep myself sober in order to have someone driving a car (you will ask what's that empty bottle of Burbon rolling out of the water closet after I went out - well, I DIDN'T DRINK IT, I JUST TRIED TO SOCIALIZE A BURBON BOTTLE WITHIN THE ATMOSPHERE OF ELEGANT GENTLEMEN OF THE SPORT). Oh, and I am never lieing. I am just pretending to.

My favourite is still Campari on the rocks.

Jennifer Anniston if I am not very mistaking is Aries not Aquarius.

Ben Affleck is last day of Leo and first of Virgo so this explains why he accepted to sign that abomination of matrimonial contract with J Lo stating he has to deliver one sex round a day. I would do the same but then make it of a junior class lenght (one minute and a half). That's because I am a Gemini (fairplay as a matter of principle, but watch every small shit in the contract).

You missed Bruce Willis from the Pisces list. He's a nice character.
You also missed the great Richard Burton from the Scorpios and his great friend Peter O'Toole from the Geminis (that's why they said that when they start to drink they can flood good old England in pee). Pete nevertheless was more careful (as Geminis are) with his well-to-do and is still drinking whilst the careless Scorpio is rottening.
They say Keanu Reeves is Pisces not Virgo (it seems he says to everyone else a different story, which makes him rather a pisces).

Characters in the sport we love:

Aries : Mark Hunt, Jan the Giant, Glaube Feitosa, Carter Williams

Taurus : Jorgen Krut

Gemini : Stefan Leko, Rick Roufus, Rob Kaman

Cancer : Mr. One and Only Hoost

Leo : Mike Bernardo

Virgo : the late Andy Hug, Mirko Cro Cop

Libra : Musashi, Branco Cicatic, Perry Ubeda

Scorpio : Peter Aerts

Sagittarius : Old Mo Smith, young Martin Holm

Capricorn : Jerome Le Banner

Aquarius : Ray Sefo, Duke Roufus, Cyril Abidi

Pisces : Lloyd van Dams


Now you make your pick.

From old ages :

Aries : William the Conqueror, Mehmed the 2-nd, Tamerlan. Leonardo da Vinci and Raphael Sanzio.

Taurus : Henry the 8-th. Some great Roman emperors of the golden age. William Shakespeare (controversial, he might be Gemini), Pope John Paul the 2-nd (sorry for the sacrilege, was not intended as such, afteral our Saviour was technically drinking partner of ill-behavior people but did not behave as such.

Gemini : Black Prince, Queen Victoria (bad drinking partner huh :)), JFK, George Bernard Shaw.

Do I need to continue before you will agree I am the smartest, keen intellect endowed, sharp, witty, sparkling character here ? Oh, and the icon of modesty :))

Highlander, KKass, Eileen/Aileen / Toots
You didn Put who you are?

the `AXE1 coctail
( Sure has a Kick to it" lol
Also the
`CHAT` coctail
(sure has many drinking that one, AND talking about it ) lol

LOL
i mustve had t
One too many Martoonos ! LOL
er Coffee Latte's
lol

BEER COAT

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3
in the morning.

BEER COMPASS

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
cruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you
got there, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL

Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

BRUCE LEE

Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

DRINK-LINK

A modern term for a cash point machine (ATM). Named so because it is common
to visit one before going out on the booze.

SSSSSSSSSSHHHH1111111111111TTTTTTTTTTTTT

The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

GREYHOUND

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS

A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in
a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars
that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of
training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES

The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the
outside, but there's actually fu(k-all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub
is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up,
whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
instead.

NELSON MANDELA

Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

PEARL HARBOUR

Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out
there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO AR$E

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got
four buttocks.

SALAD DODGER

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT

A homo$exual.

SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive woman.

TART FUEL

Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

TITANIC

A lady who goes down first time out.

TODGER DODGER

A le$bian.

UP ON BLOCKS

Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't
think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

WALLACE AND GROMIT

Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

WYNONA RYDER

Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle
of tart fuel please Doreen"

GOING FOR A Mc$hit

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mc$hit with
Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE

One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS

Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

thought this would be appropriate, i say let the games begin

let the FUN begin

unicorn,correction:
you and aileen are EX AEQUO the smartest ax-characters.
the only difference:she concentrates on biology,you on history.

???

Im SO glad i dont drink
what am i missing ?

And NO Jokes about MY Mate Stevie if this was him in another 20 Years ?
:-p

And NO Jokes about MY Mate Stevie if this was him in another 20 Years ?
:-p

And NO Jokes about MY Mate Stevie if this was him in another 20 Years ?
:-p

Sandy

i did put who i am!!!!!!

Im the Highlander

The thread just started & your already drunk.
Get out of here & go home for a sleep or i'll call the bouncers to remove you
lol

"???":on a topic by fahad i said,that unicorn probably is the 2nd-smartest
ax-er.of course,i forgot you :-)

sandyman,perhaps i`ll send YOU an e-mail!you have to know:people don`t answer
my e-mails!what do i do wrong?(of course i won`t.i`m too serious for your
taste,i bet!)
some of your jokes escape me,but i won`t blame my english teacher for that LOL!

one more thing:you know that more and more people are joining ax.BUT:this
means,that you`ll find it hard to maintain your percentage(percentage of
topics created or lines written by you)you`ll have to be DILIGENT!!!

Chloe...I like the "Assymetric bars" in that decathalon. hahaha.

Unicorn in your Profile / pic:
are those Boxing gloves real ??
OR Virtual ?
:-p

They are unisex :P

haha LOL "VIRTUAL"-ally ?
:-p

Me doing Van Damme stuff :)

haha Good Pic
BUT







What is the next Pic: ?
The PIECE of STEAK strapped to your leg and then
Learn the art of STAMINA and Running v Alsation Dog
LOL

I've got a Pittbull bitch but she's a honey :)) Helps me get back inside house when I am dead drunk lool

the party begin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :))))))))))))))))

Monday "angovers" anyone ? lol
i LUV mondays btw !
:-)

A/X bar T-shirts?
:-p

This is one of our pad men after overdoing it slightly during Songkran festival!

rob
that kind of behaviour does not inspire me to send a 17 yr old girl to train with you

awe f**k it shes comin anyway

(she could probably drink you under the table anyway)

she's a personal friend of john danniels

stevie

hahaa LOL
Stevie leave her at Home and YOU go LOL
:-p

Its alright Stevie Songkrans over and we have packed that trainer of to Japan for a bit to work as a pad man there! the rest of us are all teetotal,honest!!
Well I think at least one person at the camp might be!
Have booked tickets to Ubon and will be there friday morning to meet her at Bangkok airport!

good Luck with the training, and the training of `L.L` Rob

(edited by moderators)

(edited by moderators)
narrrr ? yes ?

Stevies BUYING a ROUND

do get too Excited..............

i said "A" round

Notice hes NOT around when ya mention HIS round ??
lol
:-p

see

is Stevie in here ?


im looking for a Scotsman too
see my topic cheers ! HELP please