If you could fight anybody in history alive or dead who would you fight?

Richard Madeley.

Christiano Ronaldo !

Rock newman Riddick Bowes old manager what a cunt.

Richard Maedly.....classic

fuck me vinny ive just pissed all over my pants that was ace

Carol Vauderman,she used to be ok but she is up her own arse now

Steven Hawking.......all that the world is emploding on itself crap.your twisting my melon man!

hmmmmm....very fight club!
Love it!

Who would I fight?
- my boss
- the hardest guy from school, circa 1987 (but fight him now, when he is all outta shape!)
- jean claude van damme (ballet dancing puff!)
- mr burns from the simpsons
- any sports mascot dude....classic comedy moment from ace ventura
- alan
- jon bon jovi

Max boyce,Tony hadley,if he was about fuckin george formy window cleaning,rat,faced twat turned out nice again whackkk!!!! the bastard!!!

That Ben bloke who does X Factor etc. Cocky little bastard who thinks he has made it. If I was a girl Id bash Kate Thornton as well for the same reason.

Id also give George Galloway and Michael Barrymore severe tumps around da head as well.

Bet you,d to beat barrymore round the ring but i think thats been done.

George galloway; the lowest form of scum and the biggest charlatan ever to be an MP, and that is saying something. he's my MP.

Good choice Phil !

shabaz from big broth....actually... ALL THE TWATS FROM BIG BROTHER!!!!!

Craig v Cadden...what a fight the little cheeky.

cezer from big bro hehehehehehehehe i read he was a boxing champion hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok lol

dey do dat do, dont dey do....

craig isnt as bad as some of the arseholes on there....

craig is funny as f88k on Bo Selecta, so I'll let him off. :)

Today.............I would fight my boss.Whats his problem,AX helps me relax and do a better job.

Today id fight Liam Robinson he he

Ghandi

Ghandi was mint....and clever he,d leather you with his flip flop easy.

Vinny, vinny, vinny
Ghandi is a total loser, he made one great film then you never saw him again.

Ghandi is handy trust me and he was in Sexy beast with Ray winstone and the baddie in thunderbirds.

just watched fight club and got some new idea's throw in the fray....

who would you fight?
- historical figure
- celebrity
- family

We have been brought up by the media to think we will all be movie gods and rock stars....this is a pretty long way from the truth and we are very pissed off.

YOU ARE NOT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE IN THE BANK

YOU ARE NOT THE CAR YOU DRIVE

YOU ARE NOT THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR

YOU ARE NOT YOUR KHAKI'S

YOU ARE THE ALL-SINGING ALL-DANCING CRAP OF THE WORLD

Whoever spawned the phrase 'political correctness'!

fact of the day:

In singapore the movie fight club was not shown because deemed anti social and anti establishment.

George Bush

ARNIE....big guy, little lungs, getting on a bit....will blow out in less than a round!!!!

Goerge bush he is wirey skinny guys fight forever!

I will fight anybody today...im having one of them!

Nikki from Big brother!

Andy Peters

Paul Dunnan from love island

Forest Gump

Roy 'Chubby' Brown...

The fat, annoying, unfunny, schoolboy-humour-havin' muppet!

Yea Chubby Brown!

Trevor Mcdonald ... but it would defo have to be full sheffield rules and also Ian macgaskill 1 never got the news right the other f00ked up the weather at every available opportunity ..... slay them all

Russ (tinkerbell with tattoos)

just watched fight club and got some new idea's throw in the fray....

who would you fight?
- historical figure
- celebrity
- family

1. Hitler

2. Ronaldo

3. Our young un I hate her

Westwood you fool Nikki off big bro would bitchslap you and bray you all over lol

who would you fight?
- historical figure
- celebrity
- family


a) shakespeare...alas por yorrick, Mr. C kicked my ass! :)
b) peter andre
c) my cousin....she can be a right whinging cow-bag!

Nikki has the body (and mind) of a 6yr old!

I didnt say i would beat her just want to fight her(mma)

thats just plain wrong!

westwood should not be allowed NEAR the internet...nevermind the school yards!

Naked MMA!mixed doubles.............im gonna start it before Mr Ishi gets hold of it!!!!!!!

mixed doubles?
2x2 action?

do you play fore-hand and back-hand westy?

are all your sockets at home AC/DC?

LOL

Nikki from BB? Nothing wrong with her judging by these pics (slightly adult content, is that allowed in link form? If not sorry moderators and please delete this post):

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/8552/nikkilaula69kq9sc.jpg

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/3893/nikkilaula55ok7ei.jpg

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/4351/nikkilaula60ix0ja.jpg

Jimmy nail we got ch4 filming here and they said he is a cunt.

Jimmy Nail anyway for those songs he brought out before

lol at vinny Jimmy Nails a north east legend he would kill you vinny he;'d play so many of them god awful songs that you'd just curl up into a ball and cry

I'd fight nikki naked in a big tub of beans

Nails a twat...Baz...pet

Classic line...

"agga-bloody-do????...who put this shite on?"

go jimmy!

The bloke who made agadoo!

I would like to push his bloody pinepples!

Crocodile shoes that twat can talk at least you can dance to aga doo.

Vinny IS going to fight Jimmy Nail today!

Defo....bring it on the rotten toothed pirate kisser.

Fox-hunters. A fox is basically a dog. How is it that in this 'civilized' age, a bunch of guys on horses, often accompanied by children, can chase a fox with other dogs and guns..and then slaughter the thing. And THEN smear the blood on the child's face?

What is wrong with this picture?

Just one small thing Vinny.........why pirate kisser for Jimmy Nail??

Oh today i would fight "The gladiator" at work.He is realy pushing my pineapples.

Dunno.....just came to me....the cunt.

me....the cunt?

No Jimmy nail.

lol

Its not catchin on Rdouble

Dave if you keep pushing my pineapples like this theres gonna be trouble

jimmy saville

Clubber Lang from rocky, what a jerk.

Shut up Fool! I aint gettin on no damn plane!!

I pity the fool............

LOL
FB'Slim

Now then now then jiggle jaggle hows about that then....lol

Jimmy Saville used to be quite handy in his day, used to do the doors at various West Yorkshire clubs. Wasnt the nicest of chaps if you got on the wrong side of him by all accounts.

Might be a better idea just to put itching powder in his running pants?

"cannaebebotheredtraining"- why Ghandi? What's your problem with him?

Timmy Mallet, I'd love to bitch slap that face! The annoying arse! lol! Cezer from Big Bro too the arrogant bugger!

Teej.........just don't like the look of the smug little twat. Nothing personal.

See the smug 'I know something you don't know' look slapped all over his chevy chase. Surely I'm not alone in this, it can't just be me can it?

IS that Ghandi, or Ben Kingsley? :-S

Either way mate, I'd still like to twat the mincing little ponce.
Next question?

If its the actor fair enough. But I think to say Ghandi himself is quite an insult. Simply because of the way he lived his life promoting non-violence, inspiring people like Martin Luther King, and making independence possible for his country

i dont think this is intended to be taken seriously...... :)

I'll level with you TEEJ, the question was asked in the movie fight club "If you could fight anyone past or present, who would you fight" Ed Norton then replied Ghandi. I thought it was a hilarious answer and so put it on here for a laugh. I didn't mean to cause any offence mate.
However this thread has been a bit jovial from the word go, I wouldn't read too much into anyones answers and I certainlt wouldn't take any of them literally.................except Richard Madely, he is a twat.

Judy has massive waps though.

I think vinny is trying to say that he wants to do some naked MMA "GRIND and pound" on Judy....on rubber mats covered in baby oil and party sausages!!!!


go on stick with me....


close your eyes....





wait for that mental image.....






keep thinking about it.....













....THERE IT IS!!!!!!


URGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Noi666
Hope your not offended but I feel sick

embrace the old-age goodness...she will show you a thing or two!!!!

ha ha ha

We are not sick because of judy its Vinny i dont want to see in mma shorts and baby oil





Keep with it






close your eyes







mental image





now a slight change





not mma shorts







THONG!!!!!!



There better out than in.

We are not sick because of judy its Vinny i dont want to see in mma shorts and baby oil





Keep with it






close your eyes







mental image





now a slight change





not mma shorts







THONG!!!!!!



There better out than in.

It's not my place to say mate, but I reckon you might need to talk to someone.
A therapist perhaps.

A middle aged therapist perhaps

A middle aged female therapist

A middle aged female therapist not physically unlike Judy Finnigan

One with a coffee table

A glass coffee table

Close your eyes, imagine lying under that glass coffe table while Doctor Finnigan squats over same glass coffee table and enjoys a fairly substantial bowel movement.

Keep with it..........Haha.................Visualisation..........You've got it.

Enjoy.

now thats just sick westwood....this about fighting not fantasys!!!! lol

Woa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!somebody weirder than me!

Im the sick one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Didn't realise it was a competition, but a win's a win, I'll take it. Haha.
Anyway, if you could fight anyone past or present who would it be?

The tin man from wizard of oz.....never trusted him

Or that bloke from chitty bang bang .........che child catcher.....................................................freak gave me nightmares for years

I'd punch the taste out of this guys mouth, never liked him anyway.

Phew, we're back on topic, it really escalated there, thought I was in that other forum.

michael fish i would be this smug if i had made a thirty year long career of getting it wrong and payed a stck for doing it.

michael fish i would be this smug if i had made a thirty year long career of getting it wrong and payed a stack for doing it.

You mess with the Hoff you mess with me

Johnny Lawrence from Karate Kid...........Pure Evil

P.S Finding an image of Johnny Lawrence isn't the easiest thing in the world, let me assure you.

Sato's nephew..........complete bastard

you can take him Daniel!

Here's a photo of me in Ibiza last summer.

Wicked.

seen him throwing kicks about but could he cut it in a ring?

both of these twats for the same reason

Anybody got the feeling AX is gonna go mental today he he he he he h ehheeeeeeeeeeeee

if you have owt to do with it mate! :)

I want tio get the gut on the left of the last picture and completely re inact the sceene from fight club where thet took the shop assistant around the back of the shop to show him the error of his ways.Tomorow he will wake up and the reality of it all would hit him.

guy on the left i ment.

Yeh but 'gut' is nearer the mark!!

FB'Slim

Yea i wasnt gonna change it.....so fatboy are you in a team for the charity kicking event??

I'm not mate..........but I haven't trained since a month in Thailand and that was 16 months ago!!! 1000 Kicks would take me about 4hrs!!

LOL

I am just looking to start training again now I have moved to Staffordshire (anyone know any decent clubs let me know)

FB'Slim

Staffordshire,hey Tony Myers Gym is in Rugely thats not too far away .Hey the kicking for charity thing i wouldnt worry too much about your physical shape i was throwing a few kicks yesterday to guage how unfit i was after taking some time off(our gym got closed) and it aint looking good he he.

howay fatboy...it'll be a laugh!

Yea it will be a laugh and its only 800 kicks.....we can have a four hour discussion after about Dekkers he he

Guys,

I would love to honestly but I am moving into a new house on the 12th Aug and spending every spare minute there at the mo doing work, the weekends are the only full days I get to work right through.

I wish you all the best and will defo be up for the next one.

Cheers,
FB'Slim

I would love the chance to beat the snot out of Gary Neville and Robbie Savage. Just one minute with them, thats all I ask.

I wanna fight Nigel Ashton :)

Ht its thursday im after the therapist again tonight

Oh paul no problem mate.next time

weston will have a sore throat as he has to shout ouwwaaay about 3 seconds before everyone of his kicks.

And three seconds after.....caught on at our gym pretty quick though he he ooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

no i shout it when i connect with the ribcage or score a down on the other player rofl u just shout it for fun

"score a down on the other player" brilliant!

i want to fight mark Beale.

FTR? :)

thok jai!

Ian Beale

Mark..........Ian ..........Any of em.

youd struggle with jane beale u fannyfart

Come on Vinny, turn it up.
For the last twenty years Iain Beale has had a fairly consistent run of bad luck, the last thing he needs now is to be set upon by some mindless thug. Give the guy a break..............Hang on a minute, didn't he get a shot at Tamzin Outhwaite (Mel), he did the lucky little mockney twat.
On you go Vinny, kick his ass until his nose bleeds. Boot him one for me.

Just watch it though Vinny.......if you remember way back when Wicksy was about Ian did some boxing and even had a fight at amateur level, kep your chin close and guard up and watch out for his devastating upper'crinkle'cut CHIP!

FB'Slim

Ian Beals little brother who is a walking "kick me sign"

Ian Beal also has a ju jitsu poster up i kafs kaf so watch it vinny

Fuck Beale and fowler i,ll chin em Westy what about you v Dot the chain smoking,tortiosed necked dullard...do her.

Fatboy you v Pauline...punch her cardigan off baby.

I cant do it vinny my mams called Dot it would just be WRONG

Ethels dead...come on lamp her...oohh i saayyyeee...ashen faced shammy leather.

For the benefit of anyone not from the UK, these ruff-tuff thai boxers are talking about the SOAP OPERA 'Eastenders'.

Its real....

soap opera??

You dont half talk some rubbish Stevens. I suppose you think there isnt really a farm called Emmerdale either?

Tell it like it is, Phil.

Dennis (sing the theme toon write the theme toon)Waterman and his dog faced daughter who lived with ian beal !

Waterman was a right boxer in his day so was his brother..seen him chin the big scotch bloke on the bus that time rather you than me brother lol.

Who the hell would want to fight "minder" he was well ard!

lil guys fight to the death!!!! ha ha ha

Not as ard as Jack Regan from Sweeney....the don

You are all forgetting 'Bomber' from Auf Wiedersehn Pet!!!!

Proper Hard!!

FB'Slim

What about Bodie in The Professionals.

He once beat up FIVE Hells Angels all by himself and is whacking the punchbag in the opening credits of every episode, even with a towel round his neck. A man of steel if ever there was one.

the two brothers from Dukes of Hazard
the bare-knuckle fighter (clint eastwood)from anywhich way but loose...
clyde from anywhich way but loose

Wasnt "Bomber" a boxer anyway? I am sure I remember the starting credits with him in a boxing ring????

He was a wrestler called Paddy Roach bet he fought Steve logan lol

bodies da bomb didn't like doyle hippy haired copper bodie was a mans man hands as nails drove a decent motor and pulled the birds

ah yeah...he was from the days when wrestling on saturday afternoon TV wasnt a stage-show.... Grannys hitting the "bad guy" with her handbag!!!! LOL

speaking of cool-coppers...what about the no-sock wearing bad-asses, from Miami Vice!

Easy,easy,easy.....big daddy now theres a hard bastard...lol

called shirley!!!!!! ha ha ha

big daddy was nails anybody remember catweasel?

Yeah he was the crowman in Wurzel gummidge if old wurzel had his fightin head you,d be mullered "cuppo tea an slice a cake" whaccckkk your chinned.

Kendo Nagasaki would have twatted Roach, Daddy, Catweasel and Dave 'Fit' Finlay even if they had stormed him all at once.

Lol awesome...pissed myself then.

Remember Alan something .......the deaf one ,the ref had to make a bell sighn infront of him when the round was over...im not sure he was deaf!

Alan Kilby...brown trunks........oneA........twoA.......ThreeA!!!!!

If youve got Sky have a peek at channel 427 The Wrestling Channel as they often have British wrestling on from the 80`s. Just last night I whyled away a couple of minutes watching Daddy and Roddy Moran in tag team action. Needless to say Moran was getting battered, just managed to tag Daddy and then Daddy came in and bellyflopped his way to victory in under a minute.

EASY, EASY!

Didnt Big Daddy actually kill Skull Murphy doing that at some seaside show?

i wanna fight the dad from steptoe and son(the one that looks like noi666) ooooooh he was horrible to Harold always stopping him from "getting his leg over" in true sixties style!!!

cheeky bugga!
Hope you can sense me shaking my fist at the screen!!!!

see ya at Dave Jacko's and I can make your dreams come true!.....but not in that way!

your gonna swallow for him?

Dont push my pineapples!

I feel good todat readt to fight anybody.......i have started training for the 800 kicks on Sunday.................I have cut my tonails and got my shorts out of the wardrobe.I have come up with a clever tactic aswell do 50 and leave the rest up to the rest of the team............................I did have cancer you know he he he he he.

None of that made sence!!!!My keyboard had replaced t with y and the other way round its ok now...........who makes microsoft that Trump bloke.......i will fight him today!

Donald Trump yea recently heard to say about his good looking ofspring"if she wasnt my daughter id be dating her"

The daughters responce:"if he wasnt my father i would mace him"

I will kick his ass in two rounds!

usa fighter!!!!! he is a joker!

Oh yea usa fighter sorry for that mate was just winding you up!

bill gates would bash you double

I hadn't seen this thread. Dave Jackson wants to fight me??? Yeah Right!! I take it you have an army to help you out Mr DJ. I walk round every day being Nigel Ashton and that is very hard to do some days with all the pressures of life haha

I could fight you though because I'm going to start with a new trainer Mr & Mrs 12 bore. Bang!!! and thefight has gone (A but like cillit bang) haha

who do you wanna fight nige?

DJ?

Don King Cadden can see a fight night forming!!! LOL

Why not fight for charity on Sunday? :)

Sorry this is a bit late but I've been off work the last couple of days and not been at a computer.
Just saw a post saying that someone would like to fight the bare knuckle boxer from Everywhich Way But Loose.
Are you sure thats a good idea?
Filo Bedo is one tough bastard and he's got an urangatang (Clyde) who himself has knocked the odd Hells Angel spark out.
By all means go for it but I'm just saying proceed with caution.
It's one I'd avoid.

Im with ya dont fight anything with more hair than you...

lol...

look at the line below...I said I'd fight Clyde too! ha ha ha

Picture the scene..........
Noi666 driving round thailand on his 50cc Honda Wave,
Pulls up next to a beat up old pick up truck
Before he's even got the chance to see who's next to him he hears someone say "Right turn Clyde"
Smack...Dropped like a bad habbit. Haha

(P.S What's with all the Honda Waves in thailand, have they got no other bikes?)

Incase you're not sure what I'm on about

you missed one thing out cadden would be in full hels angel gear(tash included)

Don't think just coz you've got an urangutang you can act all cool with me..........I'm a thai boxeer

the welsh kid from big brother!
And the welsh girl from big brother

yeah, i have hired Honda Waves before...all with obligatory baskets!
I have toured ko samui on them....but I have never encountered a 8stone long-armed orangutang that slapped the bejesus outta me!!!!! (bad co guys can input their own jokes there) :)

dunno about the clothes but i am about the same weight as the guy in that pic! LOL

I agree with RDouble. Imogen (the Welsh girl on Big Brother) definitely deserves a good fisting.

shes put on a bit of lard now but still worth a shafting

Id noticed that. Thought when she came in that I bet she used to be a porker, reckon I was right. You can tell by the bosom.

reckon thats why she dont whip em out? must sag

Careful guys, I can see where this is going.
One minute the welsh bird from Big Brother is fit....
The next minute she's wearing MMA shorts covered in baby oil, party sausages and you're lying under a coffee table. These things have a habbit of getting messy.
Am I right Rdouble?

only when your involved

To be fair, I'm really only rsponsible for furniture, the MMA shorts was you and the baby oil and party sausages was Noi.
These kind of topics have a habbit of running away though. Lol

lol....now that you mention it, i just heard Big Brother has given the housemates a new task...... ha ha ha ha

Re Imogens bust, yes they have developed a pancake effect due to dramatic weight loss within the chest area.

i now want to fight mr weston after my findings from the above! make sure your ready then mr pet noi!lol

Wainey yea lets get it on.........but no hitting in the face i am embarking on a modeling career and in nearly fifty fights i still managed to keep my dashing good looks.

its on biatch!!!!!!! make sure your there when i do make an appearance!!!! yeah dashing looks cuz they only think your good looking for a split second. lol.

Its gonna be the best................and shortest fight this year.....two hits one me hitting you and the second you hitting the deck.

I want to fight that bloke from the cillet bang advert!

Barry something!

Barry Scott

I'd fight Mr Muscle, he's a wiry little fucker, reckon he could scrap

Its gonna be the best................and shortest fight this year.....two hits one me hitting you and the second you hitting the deck with LAUGHTER and then getting back up to business my friend!!!!!!

dick foot

yeh but you liked that!!!!!!! and its true lol !!!!!! muhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! you up tonight then mate ill be there!!!!

saw barry scott on the tv last night and started laughing...said to the missus that my mate wants to fight him for just being a dickfoot

...cool thing is, she agreed!!!!

"I dont know what a dickfoot is, but he is one!" LMAO!!!!!!!

I have nothing against the product itself it must be said
Do you recon the dickfoot introduces himself everytime he goes into any room.
Like he has a doctors appointment...straight up to the counter.HI IM BARRY SCOTT! He pushes my pineapples!

why? what do you say when you go to the doctors? Hi, I am norbert smith...just to confuse them!!! lmao!

Ha Ha thats the worst example ever! Sorry!
Ok so whaen he goes into his house at night .......introduces himself to the kids and wife in a loud voices.

Cris Martin........god needs a slap!

Apple Martin..stoopid Name

peaches geldof

No i wanna fight the dad for calling the kid that.........i dont wanna fight the kid


Unless it gets into an ugly family thing....you do what u gotta

bob geldof and cris martin? you dont set yourself a high chalenge rdouble you need to fight some higher quality opponents

Na i need wins on the comeback trail

And geldof looks pretty tough!

he looks like he has stopped a fair bit of leather, and he is knocking on a bit....

Thats unfair im not that old..........oh Geldof

He`ll never have had a battle in his life. He`s a stinking, sandal wearing, tree hugging, hippy. Good at charity stuff though.

Thanks for the charity compliment and i do have sandals but its unfair to say i havent had some tough fights come on mate!

Took me a second to get that but it made me laugh when I did!

Phil your a big lad do you fancy taking on that boke from the Cillit Bang adverts?

No, he would shout me down to a quivering wreck.

No, he would shout me down to a quivering wreck.

Oh, and I`m pie and chocolate big, not muscle and strength big. So Barry 'The Cillit' Scott would probably tump me round da head anyway.

Simon Cowell

hugh Grant

Russell Brand?........ off "big bro" Tw*t!

The bloke who sold Baz some sick pigeons!,theres low and theres low man

I wana push his pineapples back to Amsterdam

hyow dare you

How dare you

some of the old blokes on the allotments are playing hell about it saying i should send him redbacks remains through the post.

Still he's cooked his goose now one of the kids in the clubs grandad has pigeons and wins all the time with them he's going to breed me some next year. So just shows you how karma works out looked after the kid for his first interclubs and demo bout and now his grandad will sort me some nice birds out.

lol someones grandad is sorting you out wrinkly old birds... sicko

can't beat the oldies the way bliar and fat gord are shafting us I will need to marry one for the money

id like to fight that comedian in the nutty professor with the big teeth who takes the piss outta fat people, i wanna be fat one day in 20 yrs or so

I wanna fight that bloke from the mister muscle adverts........ok so it was a BIT funny like ten years ago ..........we get it!!!!!!

i wanna be fat one day in 20 yrs or so

me and copley are living the dream bro

Akebono.............lump a lard.........exploited..........lied to..............mis managed...........actualy i would rather give him a hug